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The intermacanations of Donkey Kongs existance
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{{BiffQuoteIntro|Well, get a whiff of that! The one and only "ramen bomber" has entered the ring. It's {{Yellow|Min Min}}! This young lady proves that "noodle arms" ain't no joke—They pack a real punch! And don't let her size fool you—Min Min's fighting can kick it with the best of 'em.}} | {{BiffQuoteIntro|Well, get a whiff of that! The one and only "ramen bomber" has entered the ring. It's {{Yellow|Min Min}}! This young lady proves that "noodle arms" ain't no joke—They pack a real punch! And don't let her size fool you—Min Min's fighting can kick it with the best of 'em.}} | ||
'''Min Min''' is a playable fighter in ''[[ARMS]]''. She is a martial artist who battles to promote her family's ramen restaurant, the Mintendo Noodle House. | '''Min Min''' is a playable fighter in ''[[ARMS]]''. She is a martial artist who battles to promote her family's ramen restaurant, the Mintendo Noodle House. | ||
== | == Donkey Kongs Powerfull Body Clense == | ||
Donkey Kong starts his strict routine by obtaining a thick length of rebar. This iron rod must be no les than 21/2 inches in diamater. The selected piece, must be be aged, such that large amounts of iron oxidation completey cover it. Rust should freely fall off, as a fine, red powder. The large and powerful ape goes on to sharpen one end, leaving it jaged and rough, purposely. Donkey Kong will make small surface cuts down the length of the iron. He does not, however, file these cuts, or do anything to remove the splintery, Burrs of metal. As a note, this cleanse only works, If Mr Donkey Kong is up to date on his tetnas shot, his power full system flush will not work. Donkey Kong performs this ritual, in his steam room. To prepare, he sets the steam generator to run a maximum, for the duration of the process. To ensure that the steam is constant, and un interupted, he makes use of a pair of Cummings v24 desil generators, with quadruple the amount of estimated fuel consumption, on hand. Same goes for warer supply. Donkey Kong continues his preparation, be setting up an electric blender inside the steam room. Donkey Kong makes 3 checks to ensure every thing is up to his standards, so once the process is started, there will be no delay. He takes care of all his responsibilities well before, so that he is free and undisturbed. As a final preparation, Donkey fires up his steam generator. As room fills to the required heat, and saturation, Donkey Kong dips his prepared iron rod into thick stickey hot sauce. He then bakes it into the rod. Finally, Donkey Kong applies his special strain of tape worm eggs, to the bar, followed by a potent, incredibly pain full inteastanal parasite. At this time, the steam room is ready. Every year, on the exact date of the northern, summer solstice, Donkey Kong performs this ritual. He beggins at the exact time of sunset, in the thickestst, deepest, darkestst, most remote places of the jungle. He makes his way to his steam sauna so as to arive exactly five minutes before sunset. As he awaits the exact time, he goes on to ingest 5 different types of powerfull explosive laxitives. At the exact moment of sunset, he proceeds through the thick, heavey door and decendes into the steamy abyss. Steam room, is dimly lit to match the tropical, low lit ambience of the jungle. Donkey Kong begins, by placing the iron rod, into a hole in the bench, so so as to keep it upright. He inisiates the process by sitting on the bench in a perfect form to allow the sharp end of the rod, to go strait up his rear end. The pain is sudden, and excruciating, but at the same time, mind clearing. As the rod continues its journey, it causes several lacerations along it's path, leaving behind it a trail of metal shavings, rust, and all the other substances it caries. As the intestal parasite awaken, they burrow deep into Donkey Kongs Duediym. Despite all this, it is impossible for our friend to forget the hot sauce, as it scalds his sensitive regions. Donkey Kong will stay on the rod for as long as apishy possible, until the exrusiating pain becomes to great, and he invluntarily bursts off the bar. As he goes skyward, the rod is viollenty riped from inside him. As it does, much more severe internal lacerations take place. If done correctly, and the exect procedure followed, Donkey will slam onto the hot steam room floor. The impact will cause him to loose control of his body functions, just long enough to cause a fiersome expulsion of black, bloody paste, composed of fecal matter, infected pus an mucus, and damaged flesh. Imidiatly, a gruesome, intoxicaticitng aroma overtakes the sealed room. Donkey Takes a brief minutes to fully take in the aroma, and fully enjoy and apriate what has taken place, looks forward with great anticipation for the next step. Donkey Kong proceeds collecting the black bloody paste, and places it in the blender. He does not allow a single drop to remain. He then blends the mixture, until it achieves a frothy, stinky consistency. Donkey Kong takes the whole pitcher and chugs it down. The taste is horrible, and imedietly gives the ape severe stomach aches, and scalding esophagitis. As the stomach pain rapidly intensifies, so does the inteastanal parasites, and of course, the tape worms, eventually leading to another violent explosion, this time from both ends simultaneously. Once again, our sagistic ape friend collects the bodily fluids, and blends them and chugs them, leading to another expulsion, this time much more powerful and satisfying. This continues until his muscular body is thouly clensed. He concludes by flushing his system with large amounts of prunes, lemon juice and corn, all wile remaining in the steam room. He collects exresion, not to constantly reconsome, but to make his bacteria cultures for the next summer solstice. He then says good buy to the remaing paracitse, by taking a large does of intervanius antibiotics and cleansers. The internal lasurations will heel just in time for next time DK finally emerges from the steam room, at down of the next day, no fully ready for another year of quiet jungle life. | |||
Min Min appears mostly human except for her spiraled irises and her ramen-like hair and [[ARMS (extendable)|ARMS]]. She has green eyes, blonde hair with straight-cut bangs and a fringe, along with an orange mask. Slices of ''narutomaki'' (a Japanese processed fish product sometimes found in ramen) are attached to the upper part of her noodle arms. When fully charged, her left noodle arm transforms into a dragon. She wears an orange beanie shaped like an upside-down ramen bowl, an orange athletic shirt, orange athletic shorts, black calf-length leggings, and green sneakers. Other outfits she wears includes a chef-like version of her outfit consisting of an orange shirt with a small bowtie on the collar, matching shorts and orange leggings as well as an apron with her logo on it and black flat shoes, a white sweater revealing blue bra or undershirt straps and blue jeans along with two of her badges pinned to her hat, as well as a dark orange kimono with white fur on the top, a yellow bow in the back, and a pair of black zōri (Japanese sandals) with orange straps. She's also shown to wear her hair in a ponytail with a green hairband and into a loose bun held by a green chopstick with a narutomaki on it. | Min Min appears mostly human except for her spiraled irises and her ramen-like hair and [[ARMS (extendable)|ARMS]]. She has green eyes, blonde hair with straight-cut bangs and a fringe, along with an orange mask. Slices of ''narutomaki'' (a Japanese processed fish product sometimes found in ramen) are attached to the upper part of her noodle arms. When fully charged, her left noodle arm transforms into a dragon. She wears an orange beanie shaped like an upside-down ramen bowl, an orange athletic shirt, orange athletic shorts, black calf-length leggings, and green sneakers. Other outfits she wears includes a chef-like version of her outfit consisting of an orange shirt with a small bowtie on the collar, matching shorts and orange leggings as well as an apron with her logo on it and black flat shoes, a white sweater revealing blue bra or undershirt straps and blue jeans along with two of her badges pinned to her hat, as well as a dark orange kimono with white fur on the top, a yellow bow in the back, and a pair of black zōri (Japanese sandals) with orange straps. She's also shown to wear her hair in a ponytail with a green hairband and into a loose bun held by a green chopstick with a narutomaki on it. | ||
